This post has been a long time in coming. It’s something I
feel very strongly about, and have therefore been very reluctant to write
about. But after much contemplation, study, and prayer, I think it’s time.
A while ago, I witnessed a thread on Facebook. A friend
posted a highly incendiary statement about an extremely controversial subject,
and the inevitable ensued. It doesn’t matter what the post was, or who was
right or wrong. What broke my heart was the attitudes behind the
comments—people on both sides of the argument claiming to be Christians yet
attacking the other’s convictions viciously. And we all know this wasn’t an
isolated incident— scroll through facebook, pinterest, tumblr, or any website
with the option to comment, and you’ll find the same thing. People claiming to
love Jesus, yet attacking any who don’t agree with them on what that love
should look like.
I’ve seen people justify this sort of judgmental attitude by
claiming that they’re correcting in love, trying to draw people closer to God,
or because Jesus did it.
Addressing these claims in reverse order:
Jesus did it: Well, I really don’t think He did. If you look
at the stories of Jesus where He was openly judgmental in what we could call an
offensive manner, He was dealing with the self-righteous religious who were in
fact judging everyone else. Also, He wasn’t correcting their theology, but
rather their application and the fact that they were vilifying any who didn’t
agree with them. Or, in the case of the sellers in the temple, they were using
religion to turn a profit, preying on people’s devotion. But I think that in terms of the “lay people”
or the ordinary Jews of His day, Jesus demonstrated a remarkably nonjudgmental
attitude. Yes, He addressed sin head-on, but He didn’t attack the sinner—in
fact, He was incredibly gentle with people.
Trying to draw people closer to God: First of all, it’s
illogical. If you come after me swinging your Bible like a baseball bat, I’m
going to run as far away from you and your bat as I can. But more importantly (unless you’re a
specific person’s pastor or spiritual leader),
it’s not your job. Romans 14:4 (I’m going to paraphrase most of the
verses in this post to save space) basically says that we are all God’s
servants, and He is the one to judge us and correct us. Romans 14:10 uses an
interesting phrase—“set at nought thy brother.” Essentially, that means to
belittle or make worthless. And the point is that we shouldn’t, because God
judges ALL of us, and we are accountable for ourselves. Our responsibility (v.13) is to not cause our
brother with whom we disagree to stumble. It’s God’s job to fix us, and Jude 24
says He will, that He is “able to present you faultless.” If God is capable of
making you faultless, does He really need my help?
Correcting in love: Ooohhh… this one makes me mad. Honestly,
it breaks my heart, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned in the past 8
years of being a pastor’s daughter it’s that love looks like… wait for it…
LOVE. If it doesn’t look like love, it’s
probably not. Ephesians 4:15 talks about speaking the truth in love, to the
purpose of growing us to be more like Jesus. And Eph. 4:29-32, expands on what
that sort of loving truth-speaking looks like—it edifies (builds up), promotes
unity (which you don’t get by fighting), is tenderhearted. So many times, these
arguments seem to boil down to, “I’m right, you’re wrong. You’re stupid and I’m
better than you.” And no one could possibly call that loving.
*****
So what to do? In my 8 years of conscripted ministry (kidding)
I’ve seen firsthand just how harsh and discriminatory Christians can be, even face-to-face, with
people that they claim to be one in Christ with. And through that I’ve learned
that the only thing that can overcome such an attitude is love, humility, and
putting Jesus first— no matter who is right, wrong, wronged, or wounded.
I have a friend who has been attending Campus Crusade for
Christ throughout her time at college. She was raised very much like I was, and
there are many areas in which she disagrees with CCC (now called CRU). However,
what she said to me once was that despite her disagreement, she has to respect
how many people CRU has brought to Jesus, or brought closer to Him. Now, I
don’t know enough about CRU to make any sort of judgment call, but the
principle stands that if a ministry is bearing Godly fruit, how can I say that
they are wrong, sinning, not following God, or invalid, just because I don’t
agree with them in every aspect? They’re pointing people to Jesus, and for that
I should be praising them.
Philippians 1:18 talks about how, despite the fact that the
motive (and presumably the method) of certain preachers was wrong, Paul
rejoiced that Jesus was preached. Isn’t
that what really matters? If you love Jesus and are trying to honor Him, obey
Him, and tell people about Him, the best way you know how, who am I to condemn
you? If we’re both focusing on Jesus and following His leading, shouldn’t we
both end up in the right place? How can
I judge the fact that your understanding of His leading looks different than
mine? I can’t see your heart—just like Samuel said, “Man looks on the outward
appearance, but God looks on the heart.” That doesn’t have to do with just
physical appearances, because the implication is that everything that we see is
an outward appearance, and only God can see and judge the heart. If you are
saved (and it is certainly not my place or any other human being’s to claim
that you are not if you say you are), then God sees you as righteous. How can I
see you as anything less?
I think it really boils down to trust—Do I trust God enough
to let Him lead and correct you? To choose what areas you need to be corrected
in and in which order those corrections should come? Do you trust God for the
same with me?
C.S. Lewis, in his book The
Great Divorce, said, “That’s what we all find when we reach this country
[heaven]. We’ve all been wrong! That’s the great joke. There’s no need to go on
pretending one was right! After that we begin living.” Has it ever crossed your mind that you could
be wrong? Obviously you don’t think you are, or you wouldn’t believe as you do,
but it’s important to remember that the person who holds the exact opposite
conviction holds it as firmly (and often with as much proof) as you hold yours.
I’m not saying we shouldn’t have opinions, or even that we
shouldn’t discuss them. There’s nothing I enjoy more than a good debate where
we each explain what we believe and why—it is how we learn and grow. It’s when
we turn these debates into a personal attack and tear down the other person and
invalidate them that we’re wrong. I rather think that might be the whole point
of 1 Corinthians 13: that without love, it doesn’t matter who is right. The
truth is wrong when all you’re doing with it is clouting someone over the head
with it. And often, it’s innocent bystanders who are hurt the most. I know of a
young man who walked away from church for several years because of the
judgmental attitude and fighting he saw. He didn’t walk away from Jesus, but
essentially said that if those were Christians, he didn’t want to be around
them.
And that’s what really breaks my heart. That we preach a God
of love, of unity, who desired nothing more than to be reunited with man, and
yet the face we show to the world is that of people who bicker and hate each
other viciously. And we wonder why people don’t want to join us.
James 2:13b “Mercy rejoiceth against judgment.”
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